What separates the assertive, confident, and results-oriented salesperson from the aggressive, arrogant, and manipulative salesperson?

Very little!

Think of assertiveness and aggressiveness, for instance, as aspects of behavior along a continuum of behavior. So, what separates assertive behavior—being firm, focused, and direct—from aggressive behavior—being forceful, pushy, and antagonistic? A thin line. You can’t see it and it’s hard to describe. But, when you cross the line, or when someone else crosses it, you surely know.

Think of confidence and arrogance, as well as results orientation and manipulation also being aspects of behavior along behavior continuums, each pair separated by a thin line.

You might think the challenge for salespeople is to not cross the line. While that is true, the bigger challenge, and perhaps the more difficult one, is to get close to the line. Many salespeople maintain too great a distance from it. Perhaps it’s the fear of crossing it. Or, maybe it’s the discomfort of engaging in the behavior required when you get close to it.

You don’t have to be overly accommodating to avoid being perceived as pushy. You don’t have to appear unsure to avoid being perceived as arrogant. And, you don’t have to act tentative to avoid being perceived as manipulative. It’s OK, even desirable to get close to the line. There tends to be a direct relationship between your closeness to the line and your overall effectiveness. The closer you get, the more effective, efficient, and productive you perform.

So, how do you operate close to the line without crossing it? Certainly, you can emulate the behavior of someone you know who operates in that area. If you don’t have a role model to follow, think of someone who clearly crosses the line. Then, identify exactly which aspects of his performance constitute the over-the-line behavior. For instance, if you consider the
individual to be overbearing, is it the words he speaks or the manner in which he articulates them? Is it his physical demeanor? Does he tend to “invade” other peoples’ “space"? Once you’ve identified the inappropriate behavior, picture what it would be dialed back a notch or two (or maybe three). You will then have a pattern of behavior to copy.

It will surely take practice to model the new behavior. But, one thing is sure: when you operate close to the line, you’ll get more done, more quickly, and more effectively. 

_{Reprinted from The President’s Club Report, © Sandler Systems, Inc.  All rights reserved.}

_{Copyright 2011 Sandler Training and Insight Sales Consulting Inc. All rights reserved.}

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